Change the Words, Change the Story

The words we use when we speak to ourselves matter…

Photo by Kyle Glenn on Unsplash

What comes to mind, what emotions and sensations do you feel, when you read each of these words?

FEAR…afraid, worried
PARANOIA…anxious
EVIL…disaster

When was the last time you felt afraid or deeply concerned about something, and what language might you have used when you were thinking about this topic in your head?

When was the last time you were feeling anxious about something, and what was that something? What words do you say to yourself when you are feeling anxious?

Has there been a time in the last 6–12 months when you believed something was wrong in your world, that you were wronged in some way? What was that situation and what words would you use right now to describe the situation to yourself?

When we get into fear-states or anxious cycles, we tend to use language that supports our feeling of that state.

It’s the same when we are in states of love or joy.

The words we say to ourselves, and the words we say out loud to others make a difference in our perception, how we are feeling about an event, situation, or person. They make a difference in how others see or experience us.

Feelings are temporary and fleeting. But sometimes the words we use to describe how we feel or how we felt stick around, especially when they are negative feelings.

It happens…we slip into a victim-state…maybe someone cuts us off while we are driving to work in the morning, or maybe someone jumps ahead of us in line at the store.

Picture these two things happening to you, explore how you feel, and then say to yourself the words you’d use to describe the incidents to a friend.

Maybe these words are ones you use often…or even phrases such as “I can’t believe this awful thing happened to me…” or “Why do I always have such bad luck?”

Once you’ve identified some of your language patterns, the words and phrases that frequent your mind when you’ve been “wronged” or when “something terrible happened to me again…” — begin to imagine what else may be going on in these moments, using some…