Somehow I Lost My Bravery Today

Michelle Crider
3 min readFeb 9, 2023

I’m not sure how or why it left

Photo by Soroush Karimi on Unsplash

What I do know, what I do recognize is this heavy sadness filling my body and brain. Again, I’m not sure how it all happened in the blink of an overnight.

My mind refuses to rid itself of the blue-gray blank state of which my body is following suit.

It was one year ago I began my journey as a ballet dancer, never having taken a dance class before. Today’s class was what I was looking forward to, along with the Moulin Rouge tonight. But upon arrival to this master dance school, my courage and cheerfulness snuck away.

The class filled and filled. I suppose this is normal during the beginnings of each year. And with each new person filling the room, the skill required for summoning my courage slipped and slipped.

The movement, the music felt wonderful to my muscles, my feet, my entire body. Fifth in relevé felt, as usual, so good for my soul and spine, and toes, whole feet, and ankles.

The feet move our bodies and spirits through a time travel…

Perhaps it is I feel time slipping away. My dearest little one turns 10 soon. A whole decade has come and gone with this love. The lost child I once was, she’s now somewhere completely different. This could be why I still feel 27, or 30ish…a whole decade gone by in a…



Michelle Crider

Author of Fear and Musings: A Journey from Anxiety to Peace… She's a mama, wife, poet and yoga teacher (RYT500)...Learn More @